Marriage-does it really matter?
|January 15, 2014||Filled under Rusty and Sean, What I'm Working On||
As I’m writing Rusty and Sean’s 5th story in the series, I’m exploring my own feelings about marriage and what that ceremony, that vow, means to me. I also get to look through Rusty and Sean’s hearts. This may sound strange or weird or woo-woo, but I let my story people, those figments of my imagination, go where they want to go. Sometimes I wince at what comes out of their imaginary thoughts but cleaning things up and making them pretty feels like cheating the story out of depth and truth.
I guess, if I wanted to analyze it, I try to let go of conscious thought and let subconscious intuition take over. So, the actions and behaviors, the thoughts and emotions are those that my deeper unconscious associates with the personality and psyche of the story person whose point of view (POV) I’m writing in. Sound nebulous? Yeah, to me, too. But it works so I’m going with it.
When a newbie writer-friend asked how I came up with names and scenes and other parts of my story, I told him I daydream about it. And when I’m writing, I daydream while I type. So if you see me pecking away looking glazed, I’m mostly in a dream state. Please do not disturb!
And back to the topic of this post:
So, does marriage change a relationship? Make it different? Make it better? Does it change the people in the relationship? I went into this story not really knowing those answers. I’ve got some academic fuzzy thought about it, but nothing concrete. So I talked with friends. Lots of friends, because I wanted a big perspective to consider. I interviewed straight friends who’ve been married a long time or who choose not to marry at all. Ditto gay friends, especially the newlyweds in my circle. The answers are as varied as the people who gave them. And then, I let Sean and Rusty have their say.
Emotional? Yeah, beyond what I had anticipated. I don’t know if the emotion made it onto the page. That’s for you to decide. And then again, all readers take a story and change it, making it their own. That’s the awesome magic of reading and writing. I’m not writing one story, but a multitude of stories, depending on what resonates with you.
And again, back to marriage. Does it really matter? Yes. Or maybe no. Or maybe hell, yeah. Or maybe no way in hell.
What do I believe? I’m not sure. The only thing I’m sure of is that everyone should have the right to make their own choices. But I’ll tell you what I’d like to believe. I’d really like to believe that a deep and respectful and cherishing love can exist between people and that it can last forever.